I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Are we in a gay sports bar?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
