Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
