Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize