I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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