i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
