nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
