She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
