please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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