I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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