Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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