Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
