I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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