And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
