no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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