he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Panties = found
Randomize
