nut hugger
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize