I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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