This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
