I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
