So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
