I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
