I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
