you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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