I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
