I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
