My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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