uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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