Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize