I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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