Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
