Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize