You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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