i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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