so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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