forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
