Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
