I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Rumble strips road head = magical
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
