Your mouth is God's brothel.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
