I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
