i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
