So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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