the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
did i walk over a car last night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
