so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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