Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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