I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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