Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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