Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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