She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
