I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
