perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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