Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
