now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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