You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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