either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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