I think im going to throw up on grandma
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
