Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
