threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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