You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
