I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
