She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
