I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
