Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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